We Pissing Our Pants Yet?
by nugget1999
Summary: Clementine and her group run into a man clad in leather wielding a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. WARNING: Strong use of profanity and mild violence.


"What? Was the joke _that_ bad?"

Clementine shook uncontrollably. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Kenny's body and the bloody, gory pulp that used to be his head. She could hear the wailing of Sarah. She could make out gasps of others, but couldn't put a face to the sound. Clem's eyes directed themselves at Mike. The whole group scoffed at Mike's warnings to not fight the so-called "Saviors," that it would be dangerous.

She wished they listened.

Now, those that remained were herself, Mike, Bonnie, Jane, Luke, Sarah, and Rebecca, who was pregnant. The irony of it all was that the group had already made a daring escape from Carver's place about a week ago. All of that hardship, of all that loss, all of that danger to escape a sadistic madman, only to be beholden to a possibly worse one. Clem would smirk at the thought of it weren't so terrifying. What she knew for sure was that the man who called himself "Negan" had her full attention. What she _also_ knew for sure was that Negan would _not_ get away for what he did.

Negan addressed Luke, who was on his knees like Clem and the others.

"You're the man in charge, right? I never found out which one of you pricks were the leader." Negan asked this with a sadistic smile, and a voiced that seemed to be taking a load off, as if he got off on bashing in people's skulls.

Luke gave no answer, instead he chose to glare at Negan.

Negan's smile was even larger. "Or did Lucille here Grand-fucking-Slam his head _out of the fucking park?!"_ He raised his voice in a yell of jovial machismo. His baseball bat, "Lucille", swung dangerously close to Jane's face, who was right next to Luke. A spat of blood covered her face. She flinched, out of disgust and probably shock.

Luke muttered, "There is no leader."

Negan laughed. " _Really_? Even before I beat the fucking piss out of Gator Land there?" He exclaimed, pointing Lucille at the remains of Kenny. He continued, "No fucking _wonder_ this little shit collection you call a 'group' is so fucking stupid! No leader. Wow!"

It was then that Negan noticed Clem giving him the death stare. He chuckled and slowly walked to her, strutting as if he were some sheriff walking into a saloon in the old west. Despite the clear sense that the entire group was trying to cue her to give it up, Clem didn't stop staring at Negan.

After a moment of thought, Negan smacked his lips and said, "Huh. Still not shedding a single damn tear? Shit-fuck, kid. You've got more balls than all these other sorry shits kneeling here _combined_!"

Negan addressed the massive group of Saviors behind him. " _Way_ more balls!" He exclaimed, spreading out his arms. "And not just _any_ balls, either! Big, pendulous, dangling _nuts of fucking steel_! Reminds me of _me_." The quip drew some chuckles and murmurs of agreement.

Negan became serious again. With a slight scowl, he gave stern orders to Luke.

"So, Ku Cuck fucking Klan, this is your way of life now. The old ways? Gone." Explained Negan. He swung Lucille and put his hands over his eyes, as if he were a watching home run fly away. "Dead. It's time for something new. You have shit—you give it to me. If you think you can fucking fuck my shit up, then I will fucking break you like a mother fucking china dish. I'll slide my dick down your throat and you'll thank me for it. Any questions?"

"We have no home," Bonnie piped up. Negan turned around and chuckled.

"Dwight," he said.

A man with half his face burned walked up to Negan. "Yes, sir?" Negan spoke to him quietly and closely.

"That lame-ass king with the tiger...where the fuck does he live?" Negan asked, almost whispering.

After a short back and forth, Dwight went back to the crowd, and Negan addressed Clem and the others again.

"Okay, you sorry shitheads! You're going to the—excuse me if I laugh—fucking Kingdom! They know the fucking system, but... _you bitches_ are held to a higher standard. You don't produce 10 percent more things to offer us..." He looked at and cradled Lucille. "...Well, let's just say Lucille here doesn't take kindly to lazy fucks. We come there in a week for our next offering."

Clem tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Negan began walking back to his truck, finishing his monologue.

"Till then... _ta-ta_ , mother fuckers."


End file.
